JACQUELINE FABIENNE BUXEL
“Everything you can imagine is possible. So why not create the greatest vision of yourself and your world? Be the creator of your life."
Old Me
My first impulse was to study psychology after graduating from high school, but I couldn't identify with the job profile at that time – “no career opportunities”, I thought.I really wanted to have a prestigious career without having really defined what career meant to me. So I decided on a path in the Business sector like my dad. I studied Media Management in my bachelor's degree, Journalism in my master's degree, and then Management and Entrepreneurship in my 2nd master's degree.
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I got 2 scholarships and did 2 semesters abroad. I lived in several countries over the course of 5 internships, jobs at various companies like Zolo Pilates in Mexico, WELT in Berlin, Sat.1 Reginalfernsehen, Goethe-Institut, Ease PR, Bonprix, and ABOUT YOU. Hoping that at some point I would finally be enough – to get attention and appreciation from my parents (both workaholics, of course), from the external world.
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In 2021, my grandma passed away. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, and my boyfriend ended the relationship after 9 years after I returned from a project where I worked for up to 18 hours. That was my lowest point in life and at the same time my wake-up call. I perceived myself as a victim of my life asking myself “What did I do to deserve this”? I have always given my best – even more than my physical and mental limits allowed me and yet I was punished. I put so much guilt on me that I rejected myself. I no longer saw meaning in how my life worked. Everything was broken. I was broken. Mind and body influence each other reciprocally. Consequently, I ended up between anorexia and bulimia again. I got an inflammation of the bowels with suspected Chron's disease, my periods stopped in this survival mode and I didn't know for 12 months if I could ever have children - which was the worst for me.
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I had thoughts in my mind that it would be easier to end life then continue having these thoughts and emotions. I couldn't handle feeling powerless, overwhelmed, helpless, inferior. I was caught up in the external world, in my ego, in opinions, needs and feelings of others and in subconscious patterns & beliefs. I had lost the connection to myself. “That wasn’t me” – neither these thoughts, nor these emotions. I have always been a motivating, positive thinking, energetic, power woman. “Where was this person? Who am I? What is my essence?”
New Me
I flew to Barcelona to meet Sophie. It was a planned vacation of 5 days, but I couldn’t go back to Germany. I was so frightened of the thoughts, emotions, my old situation that I was attached to - I would rather escape. That was my survival strategy for a long time – I recognized then. I talked to my team lead, I told him everything and I asked for distance. I created space for myself. I worked for ABOUT YOU from Barcelona and flew to the productions from there.
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Although I have always been working with my body through semi-professional Hip-Hop dancing, I was controlled by my mind. Through breathwork and my own workouts with fitness and cardio elements, intuitive dancing, yoga, inline skating, swimming and Muay Thai boxing I was able to build a conscious, healthy connection to my body - in acceptance and self-love for the first time. Not controlling. Connecting.
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I did a coaching formation for Mindset & Growth at ©Greator and I got my Zumba license. A big part of my life has always been dancing. I began dancing in musicals at 5. At an age of 14 I discovered my passion for Hip-Hop. I joined a formation and we prepared for competitions. Later, I realized I don’t like to do things with pressure that are meant to let me express, enjoy and feel myself. That’s why I have always loved Zumba & Latin dance styles during my time abroad – mostly in Spanish speaking countries. Now I want to give this spirit back by teaching dance as a way of expressing your feelings and by connecting to your body. I founded SOULRAYS with Sophie and we gave the first Holistic Health Workshops at ABOUT YOU. During this time of transformation, I gained the clarity that I want to dedicate my energy more to my life topic of Holistic Health.
Vision
I strongly believe that the experiences labeled as "negative" by the mind, the ones we fear, are the most important ones. There lies the growth. They help us to realize all the potential within us. Our thoughts create our experience and thus we experience what we think. It is the quality of our thoughts that creates the quality of our life. So, now I know - I - give everything a deeper meaning and I don't have to do anything for it - just radiating my essence.
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Everything you can imagine is possible. So why not create the greatest vision of yourself and your world? Be the creator of your life. Be the change you wish to see in this world. Unfold your full power on a conscious, mental and physical dimension.
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My vision is to open and hold the space that I have created to myself - for all. I want to support my wonderful fellow human beings to connect with their true self and live the most beautiful relationship with themselves at a soul, mental and physical level. This is the base to create the life they want - from an open heart, from abundance.
Creation
We often seek to fulfill our needs in the outside world, not realizing we only find all the answers within us. Now I know that I have asked myself a misleading question. It wasn’t “What did I do to deserve this?”, it was “What can I learn from this experience”? I broke so that light could come in. It was an invitation to create my life again, this time from inside out with all this enlightenment.
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As I mentioned, space holding is the path I was meant to go. I enjoy helping people reach their full potential in creativity, radiating positivity, and opening their hearts. It opens my heart when I get feedback from people I work with like they can release limiting beliefs and transform them into new conscious decisions. It is true pleasure when I hear “I feel so much better showing my insecurities.”
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Sometimes you just need to disconnect to connect. Today I live a life full of gratitude and I know that in my infinite awareness, growth and love I can create anything I want because I am the creator of my life.
